POLICY

Published: September 5, 2017
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How many times have you begun doing business with some company, or have tried to get a particular service on your computer, only to be told that you must agree to the company’s policy. The policy itself is usually long and boring and most people never read them – but we click “I Agree” or sign “Agree” and press on hoping we have not committed our entire life savings to a lawn service.

More distressing for me as a physician is dealing with various agencies that send me things to sign saying that I must sign them because it is their policy. This year my family and I went on our usual summer vacation. We wanted to rent some bicycles. We not only had to pay some ridiculous daily rate for the bikes but we had to sign the rental policy which, as usual, we did not read. Unfortunately, one of the bikes was stolen and, of course, there was a section of the policy that committed us to paying a fee for the stolen bicycle.

I am really tired of everyone having a policy but, more importantly, I realize that I do not have a policy of my own. I think I should have one. Why should I not be able to have someone sign my policy when we are doing business? I think my policy should be about 10 written pages with places for signatures and witnesses and I might even consider putting in another annoying condition, it must be notarized. Of course, my policy will be available on-line. You will need to click on the “I Agree” button and put in your email address, credit card number, and the names of all of your children with their ages and current known addresses.

The question then becomes: What will my policy actually say? First, there will be a disclaimer stating that if any of the conditions are unenforceable I would still be able to rain down legal hell on you, your family and all of your future descendants. Lastly, my main point will be that if you do not sign my policy I will not sign yours and further my policy will clearly state (in small print) that by signing you agree to absolve me from following your policy.

That’s my policy.

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